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Battling My Eating Disorder pt. 1

I thought I had finally reached "recovery" from my eating disorder. It had been months since I binged and purged.

I was eating healthy and actually take care of my body for once. However, my body was not quite having it. After years of training my body to reject food, it was nearly impossible to teach my body just the opposite.

To start, I set a daily calorie goal instead of a daily limit. I set a goal weight that was an actual healthy weight and not underweight.

However, I ran into some pretty major obstacles. One of the hardest challenges was that I had no appetite. Even moreso, most of the time, everything I ate made me nauseated or physically ill. One of my recovery rules to stop purging was to not eat if I was nauseated, not hungry, or, eating to fill a void. So I had to adjust somehow.


My appetite was so fickle. I would maybe get hungry for a handful of minutes then it would go away. It came in little waves that I had to hop on as soon as they came, otherwise, I was …

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