A Letter to Mormons: I don't need your sympathy.

A note to all of those believing that being gay is a terrible burden (aka, the religion I was born into and raised in):

I don’t need your special sympathy. I'm not "of special concern".

“All should understand that persons (and their family members) struggling with the burden of same-sex attraction are in special need of the love and encouragement,” (Dallin H. Oaks, Ensign, Oct. 1995, 7–14)

As stated in a press release from the LDS Church in 2010, "Their struggle is our struggle. "

My sexuality is not a burden, nor should it be. 

I am attracted to girls. I am not ashamed of it in the least.

The only reason it was a burden is because I was trained to believe that it was something to be ashamed of, hidden, and changed. I was trained to believe that acting on my attractions would demolish my future and revoke any chance of eternal happiness & salvation, not to mention the eternal happiness of my entire family (past, present, and future).

I was instilled with the fear of eternal damnation and misery if I were to even date someone of the same-sex. Time after time, the religion I was indoctrinated with since infancy, ensured a  life of torment and sorrow by simply acting on my same-sex attraction.  The possibility of living happily with someone I truly loved was inconceivable within the realm of Mormonism. 

The religiously-backed, intolerable, cognitive red tape is what was a burden. Being brainwashed into believing that I was a heathen if ever I was to actually be myself, is what was a burden. 

Being attracted to women? Not a burden.
Falling in love with a woman? Not a burden.
Getting married to a woman? Not a burden.
Being able to be myself? Not a burden.
Being raised Mormon? Burden.
Parents not accepting me? Burden.
Having to go to patriarchal church leaders and be told I had to be someone else in order to be happy? Burden.
Living with the threat of being kicked out of my college because of my sexuality? Burden.
Losing my family when coming out? Burden.

After years of struggling to recover form the militaristic, unaccepting environment I was raised in, I can finally say I am happy. I have deconstructed and rejected the destructive programming that I lived with for over 20 years.

Am I living a life of misery? Not at all.

Everyday, I am even more grateful that I am out, proud, and happy to be alive. I have found my own happiness. 

Each day I wake up next to the love of my life. Each day I wake up with a smile on my face. I come home to my best friend, who I am absolutely in love with. We have a beautiful home, 2 adorable dogs, and successful careers.

You cannot tell me now that being gay is a burden. This is my life of happiness and I am finally starting to live it at the age of 23.

Here are just a few of the Mormon church's "counsel" about the "struggle":


OH and feel free to ask a mormon anytime at mormon.org. They have missionaries ready and waiting to answer. Having tested it out myself, be warned, you might get fed up, disgusted, or downright disappointed in what they are programming teenagers to preach to everyone.

Popular Posts